So..

When I was a kid I went to a karate class my friend went to.. did that for a few years and stopped. Didn't do anything else until I was about 13 or 14, when my mum asked me if I wanted to do taekwondo and I went along, enjoyed it and did it until about 18/19 and got my black belt during that time.

Of course I was told that taekwondo was the ultimate thing.. and given the impression when I got to black belt I would be some kind of god or something.. but something was wrong.. I got into a few fights at school during my training and could never apply all of it.. but there was all the bullshit "you just need to train longer" "after black belt you will learn all the real secrets".. what fucking shit. I got my black belt and from then I learnt NOTHING.. I was still paying my fees and was helping to teach the kids class and getting nothing from my training and was getting frustrated.

Around that time on new years, when I was 17 I think, around the time I was near getting my black belt. I went out for new years eve and these 2 guys from school who always picked on me had a go at me.. I did talk them out of it but then said something else and they come back. What I noticed most was the fear and adrenaline.. which was never covered in training.. hmm.. I couldn't even put up any kind of 'passive stance' I had recently read about because I was so much in fear. I was drinking a coke and planned to throw it at one of them and then strike when he didn't expect it.. but I threw it at him and froze.. and he got really angry that I got coke on his shirt..

After that I did manage to pre-empt him with an elbow and get him in a headlock pretty good, if it was just him it would have been ok but I got some punches from his mate.. and my mate who I was with just stood there and drunk his coke.. barstard.

I don't remember exactly how it ended but they walked off. And I was like "what the fuck.. all this training didn't help me much.. the fear ruined it all and was quite unexpected.."

So I got disgruntled.. started getting frustrated with taekwondo and the uselessness of it all... started to hate forms/katas etc and started looking for something else..

I then went and typed "streetfighting" into google.. and found senshido. Eventually after about a year I saved up and brought a box set of videos from them. Watched the first one and was amazed.. I really learnt more about effective self-defense from that one video than years of taekwondo.

Also I was training with a guy who went from taekwondo to a new class and he told me about it.. I started doing both, which upset my parents and eventually I realized the new class was the way to go and left taekwondo. Also around the same time I had arguments with the instructor because I felt betrayed and told him that all his training was useless and it didn't help me when I needed it.. and he got upset about that and the fact I was 'crosstraining' which doesn't exist apparently!

This other class was a kind of hardcore mix of karate/jujitsu/aikido and I got my ass kicked regularly and actually was scared and wanted to leave, but I stuck to it and come out better for it. I always said after TKD I didn't care about belts and went to the gradings just for extra training, the main instructor would always give me a belt.. even in the last grading I did with them, I didn't bother learning the katas but could do the techniques well on people so he said "you know what your doing" and gave me the next belt.. which kind of upset the assistant instructor.

I met a guy there who come and upset them because he threw the assistant instructor around. We got talking and he was an experienced fighter and security guard and started to teach me also.. he has probably taught me more than anybody about fighting and psychology of attackers etc.

Eventually I learnt about a guy called Glenn Zwiers, an instructor in Australia under Hock Hocheim, and did an instructors course with him.. this was the next level again.. I didn't really see the value of it at the time until now when i've used the stuff for real. Too bad he doesn't do it anymore.

I did the course, travelling 4 hours every second Sunday to do it for about 6 hours of intense training.. luckily my dad come with me and drove home. I could have not drove home due to exhaustion, i'd drink litres of liquid and eat ALOT after a session.

After the course I ended up moving quite close to the training centre and started teaching for him for a few months.. but it was out of my comfort zone and I found a way to ruin it for myself

So come back here to my small home town and have been bouncing for a few years, where the real learning curve was and when I have been able to find training partners i've been working on and refining my own training and taking ideas and concepts from Senshido, Sammy Franco, Richard Grannon, Lee Morrison and recently Kelly Mcann and I feel pretty good about my training.. the only thing is I need somewhere where I can get my ass kicked again.. i've been putting of travelling 2 1/2 hours to do MMA but its the only real choice for me.

Really this town is too small and restricting for me.. I just seem to be on a different level on alot of things than most people here.. but finding it hard to get out.

Just need to venture out again.. but truthfully I fear it.. gotta make the jump sometime though..

So yeah.. thats enough for now.. it ended up way longer than I expected.

-Ben

Nice writing Ben, you think the small town is restricting but you love it really

nice development, i can relate to everything--especially the TKD let down. in my case it was an unlearning, i would have fared better without the expectation
that it would serve me under pressure, that and being too drunk. either way i was fed up

glad you found your center and kept going, those things either make or break one.

Another TKD tale of tragedy... Sad every time I hear these stories. I too was lead down that path and later found it's truth... now I still teach it, but it's being taught the way it should be. No, you will be a god... you will get the secrets when you are a black belt... no false anything. It is what it is... a sport... however there are some of us out here that teach.. here is the sport and this is for the street.


Either way... Glad you sorted it all out and still seek some training.

Ben,

Another good story and sounds like your picking some good resources. Interestinly enough I found my training partener almost five years ago on a website about fighting. Everybody did a similar post to this and we noticed we lived about twenty minutes apart, and thas as they say "the rest of the story" so who knows.

Keep safe and train hard/smart, Mark H